Breakfast of Champions

A couple amazing things happened this morning. First a breakfast was prepared by someone other than myself, before solar noon and second, it wasn't burnt. It was totally edible and delicious. Eggs, bacon and fresh mango. The eggs were scrambled just as I like them with hot sauce, cayenne pepper, and crushed red pepper. The bacon was cooked to crunchy perfection and the mango was sweet and juicy. Thank you dear!

Toothpaste: A Choking Hazard?

I was so inspired or rather traumatized by last nights events that I decided to jump right into this blog that I have been mulling over for the past few weeks. So without further ado, here we go!

It seems as if anything bizarre or completely ridiculous is going to happen to someone, it is going to happen to me. I have accepted and embraced this fact as a condition of my existence. So, knowing that, it comes as little surprise that I would find myself the victim of a near fatal toothpaste choking yestereve. There I was innocently brushing my teeth when a poorly timed subconscious request for oxygen from my brain, triggered the ill-fated automatic inhalation response that subsequently led to the abrupt, strategic and inappropriate lodging of the Sparkling White Mint Zing in my trachea. For those of you who have not experienced the joy of choking on toothpaste I will liken it to swallowing a habanero pepper whole and chasing it with battery acid, only not quite as pleasant. I spent the next half an hour doubled over the sink choking, coughing, vomiting and swinging violently at my partner who, for the lack of proper first aid training, proceeded to pat me on the back in an effort to help........or more aptly kill me. On the verge of cerebral hypoxia, one final violent upheaval of mango lemonade cleared the path and normal breathing was finally restored. I woke today with a scratchy, rough throat and sounding a bit like Marge Schott, minus the racial epithets, but I am recovering nicely.