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Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Immaculate Home Ruined by Ill-conceived Renovation.




Returning home from a recent mission in Columbus, Ohio, I found this saintly 18th century, Georgian Colonial home exalted by a gently rolling pastoral hill.   The once graceful architectural style of this edifice was condemned by the sinful construction of a room addition on the south facing wall and a portico to the east. Unfortunately the renovations, which were too glaring to passover, crucified the resale value of the once divine home with idyllic views. I have faith that the homeowners will have a revelation and convert the home to a condition that bears witness to its original glory.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Will Secure Intermittently

The U.S. Government's Y12 Nuclear weapons facility located in Oak Ridge, Tennessee has been closed temporarily, following a security breach that allowed three protestors to gain access to the inner perimeter of the weapons-grade uranium warehouse. Among those arrested and charged with vandalism and criminal trespass; an 82 year old nun! The security firm WSI Oak Ridge, which I have determined stands for Will Secure Intermittently, is subsidiary to G4S, the international security firm responsible for security at the London Olympics.

Now, I'm just curious; how lax does security have to be for an 82 year old nun to breach, not one, not two, not three, but four security fences and then proceed to amble about the premises for 2 hours, before reaching the uranium storage building?

We have been assured, by "officials" (whoever the heck they are) that this facility is equipped with "modern security features"! Exactly which chain link fence are they referring to as modern security? Additionally, these same officials tout "the contents of the building were not compromised". LOL! Not due to any security measure employed at this facility, but rather because the three protestors had no intentions of breaching the building. They merely hung crime scene tape and banners! Had Marty McFly or Dr. Emmett Brown been in need of uranium for the Delorean's flux capacitor (the time machine in the movie Back to the Future), I am certain that compromising this last barrier would have been no trouble for the young, agile, high school student and his mad scientist friend.

Reference
Hosenball, Mark. "Oak Ridge uranium plant shut after protesters breach 4 fences, reach building", U.S. News on NBCNEWS.com. 2 August 2012. Web. 2 August 2012 http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/02/13092159-oak-ridge-uranium-plant-shut-after-protesters-breach-4-fences-reach-building?lite